: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
