the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
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