no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
