i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
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