you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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