Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
