I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
