i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
