Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Randomize
