glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
