I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
