No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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