She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
