How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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