So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
