Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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