Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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