found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
