Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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