im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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