I think I am morally bankrupt
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
