I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
