It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
