One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
