Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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