I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I puked a lego.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
