i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
