some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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