everyone is single if you try hard enough
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize