So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
