you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
