The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
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