yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
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Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
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Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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