this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
