Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
