is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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