worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
