if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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