all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
