He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
