People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
