I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
