we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
worst night to have a conscience
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
