booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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