Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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