Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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