My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize