How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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