No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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