Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
