did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
