I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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