He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
