New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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