She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
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