Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
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