Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
3pm strippers are depressing
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
