Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Fuck appropriateness.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
