There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
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