I wish I could punch you in the face.
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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