My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
