Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
