so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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