i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
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